A New Direction

I am excited, nervous and a whole bunch of other things about my life next year. It has been a really amazing couple of weeks in terms of an idea popping into my head, realising that the idea was God's, praying about it and having others pray for me (thanks), talking it over with people to confirm that it was doable.

Just to give a bit of background. I returned to work when B was only 5 months old. It broke my heart to do so but I didn't feel like there was much other option at the time. I took comfort from the fact that he was an easygoing baby and it was only for 2 days a week. It has been difficult but we have muddled along for the last 4 years.

B is now just over 4 and we have been having a lot of clashes recently. We have been butting heads, yelling at each other and he has been saying he doesn't want to go to child care/kinder and just wants to stay home with Mummy. It has been really difficult for both of us and I have been really struggling with his behaviour and my response to it.

A couple of weeks ago after a particularly bad day I was at a loss about what I could do. Then an idea popped into my head of taking next year off work. I almost immediately discounted it as I didn't think it could be done. Then I got THE voice - the one that I have heard before and I know very well. It was the voice that God uses with me when I don't listen the first time!!!!

After that, I realised that I needed to give it some serious thought and prayer. I checked out how much long service leave I have and realised it was a full year at half pay. I then crunched some numbers and worked out that financially it was doable. I sat down with a (practical) friend who confirmed that financially it would work and emotionally for B and I as well.

It was all starting to become a bit more concrete and by this time I was starting to feel a sense of peace about the decision. I spoke to the principal at school to ask if it was possible and her answer was "of course" - another affirmation that I was on the right track. Everybody that I have mentioned it to has been really supportive and thinks it's a great idea.

I know that me being a SAHM next year will not solve all of our problems but I am confident that this is the choice that is right for us and what God wants me to do. I am really looking forward to making B's kinder year a really good one and spending his last year before school together.

As I said at the start I am nervous but mainly excited about what the next year will bring.